This is where the road begins…
James and I didn’t just think about this one night and then bam started – No we thought long – we prayed hard – we well (I) cried asking the tough question
“God here is my life what is your plan for it.”
It’s funny that I actually quoted that- because I bet many are saying why is she asking God what his plan is if she’s clearly making her own plan.
I am a strong Christian woman who raisers her family the best way I know how to to follow Christ. My beliefs and the God I follow may look differently than most. I believe in a loving God, one who doesn’t judge whether that’s the color of your skin , the clothes on your back or whom you are married too. My God loves and accepts all who choose to love him, follow him and who believes he is the one who died and rose again and is alive today- That is my God.
I believe God gave us these tools, these doctors to help assist and get us through life. Because I am choosing to gender select is no different than someone who struggles to get pregnant and saying to that person – well you actually shouldn’t have a baby because maybe your body isn’t equipped for it.
On Monday – that was actually my egg retrieval day (and I will get to that process soon) but my nurse who was giving me my IV said to me – you know so many people just like you do this but they are so scared to talk about it because they are afraid of what people will say.
Currently I am reading a book 100 Days to Brave – the Friday before my egg retrieval I was having major doubts.. Is this what I should be doing? So I was driving and I turned on my audible (man do I love audible) she started this chapter with “Ask God those hard questions – be brave and ask god what is your plan for me? what is it that I am suppose to be learning right now? Ask those hard questions and listen for those hard answers – even if you don’t want to hear the answer.” So I sat there in may car tears running down my face and I asked God- what is it that you have planned for me ? What am I suppose to be learning right now? I sat I waited and I was prepared to hear those hard answers even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. This book has really brought me to bravery just starting this blog and sharing all of this has made me braver than I knew – 100 Days to Brave
My journey is far from over- I know God is more powerful than any man or medicine out there and if he wishes he will put barriers and stop our journey.