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My Middle Little • Hunter

So I originally started this blog to share about my IVF process. I am now transitioning this blog about being a mom to my 3 soon to be 4 kids.

This is my middle little Hunter Dean.

He is 3 years and 4 months. He is delayed in speech – he currently can say 75 words.

I was worried about his speech and kinda thought well he’s young and he will catch up. But when I would see him next to other kids his age I noticed they are saying full stories & sentences Hunter wasn’t. I then knew I needed to seek help. My first thought was to call our insurance and get him in speech therapy, unfortunately that is only covered if he experienced loss of speech due to a stroke 😒 thanks insurance.

My Mother in Law used to work in the school district and she told me you could have your child evaluated free of charge. So I applied as soon as he turned 3. The waiting period took some time but finally we got an appointment.

It was great he was evaluated for about an hour and half by 4 therapist specializing in speech, hearing, behavior, & his actual teacher. They did all sorts of activities, questions, testing, it was very informative to know what he can and cannot do. In most all areas (besides speech of course) he excelled past his age level • I had a big proud mom moment when I saw this!

When they called us back a week later to review their findings they suggested he started school at their school (which is a public elementary) there it is speech enriched & driven he will also see a speech therapist 2x a week. My first questions were well is there any other issues I should be concerned about ? Autism? They immediately all answered no, that was so relieving because that was a huge weight I had been carrying around for some time and just not knowing for sure was hard.

The school they want him to attend has all sorts of kids that go some are 4 year olds and not all have speech difficulties. Most actually pay to go like a normal preschool. A huge bonus for us was it was offered to us for free because he qualified.

Most parents would be thrilled a preschool that you don’t have to pay for ?! Me I was devastated I wanted to cry. Not because he needed the help but because this was not what I expected to hear. I thought they would tell me oh just come to speech therapy 2-3x a week and continue at your preschool. I’m so in love with the school we go to now that it just made it harder. The hours at our new school are HORRIBLE & just the whole new transition was harder on me. I knew what was best for him and that was to get him the best help possible and this school provided just that.

My husband couldn’t sign the paper work fast enough all he heard was HELP & FREE.

I think as moms we just want the best and when we have a specific plan for our child, when that’s disturbed it’s harder for us to take that in. As upsetting as it was for me I knew what was best and what he needed. I had to put my plans aside and follow his 🙏🏼

These are his children- God has only lent them to me and so I have to remind myself to say:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I also believe in early intervention is so crucial. The early you choose not to ignore things about your kids the better they will get corrected. His speech therapist said I strongly believe I will have him up to speed so by the time he starts kindergarten he won’t need to get pulled out of class to get that extra help. That was so nice to hear!

Thank you for reading and I hope just maybe someone reading this didn’t know there was free help out there and just maybe I could help one person.

I will update everyone as he progresses. I am so confident he will excel & begin to reach his full potential.

Xoxo,

Melissa

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12 weeks pregnant

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So here I am 12 weeks pregnant!

Yay! I am so happy our whole process took successfully – so sorry I have been gone these last 12 weeks have been rough. With mothering 3 kids – being nauseous and sick pretty much all day + Christmas just passed it was more than I could handle.

This pregnancy has definitely sucked the life out of me. I have been so sick throwing up everyday and just having that lurking nausea.

Let me sort of pick up where I left off. So once they confirmed pregnancy I had to continue all my shots. I would take a shot of estrogen every 3 days + a shot of progesterone every day along with 2 suppositories of progesterone. The reason I had to continue these until 10 weeks pregnant was my body didn’t naturally conceive a baby. An embryo was just placed inside of me. In a normal conception you release an egg and it gets fertilized and then your body releases these hormones.

Ah lol so yes that’s why I had to forcefully give myself (we’ll James did ) these shots . If I didn’t continue I would have miscarried.

I stopped estrogen December 22 + progesterone December 28th and I couldn’t be more thrilled ! I really think a lot of my nausea was a side effect from the progesterone- BUT here I am 12 weeks 6 days and I’m still randomly feeling the nausea:(

Today we had our 12 week scan and I was really hoping she would be able to show me baby girl but she was so still and hardly moved that we couldn’t see much. Oh well next scan hopefully.

Thank you everyone for following me and supporting our family we love you all + god bless 💟

– Melissa

We’re approaching the end

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I’m FINALLY seeing the light


Ahhhh you guys I am over and beyond excited!

So sorry I have been MIA lately – life has just been so hectic. Here is a quick update.

So I’ve started a new shot 2 weeks ago this shot is designed to trick my body into thinking it’s pregnant, so that way when they go put baby in me by body accepts it.

In a traditional conception your body starts working as if it’s pregnant the moment the egg is fertilized – in my case we’ve fertilized the egg but my body doesn’t know that. So this shot helps make that happen. This shot isn’t pleasant ha ha, James has to give it to me in my butt. The worse part is that entire needle has to go in because it has to go through my muscle, needless to say I’ll be happy when this part is over.

So for 2 weeks I’ve been taking this once every 3 days. Friday I had an appointment the doctor had to check my levels and make sure my body was accepting the medicine and YAY! It is!

Yesterday he started me on another injection progesterone- this one is required every day, I also had to start these pills + a progesterone suppositories yuck! Seriously this is the worst – I have to do the suppositories once in the morning + once at night.

This process continues until transfer day which is set for Thursday November 1st. After that date I believe I continue what I am doing (injection part) until I am 8-10 weeks pregnant.

So November 1st! Ahhh it’s so surreal to me because anyone who has known me really truly understands my want for this baby + to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel is so exciting.

I go into their surgical center which is in Pasadena at 6am. He told me the procedure is like a Pap smear – very calming and “pleasant” ha ha! Total time spent is about 15-20 minutes. After transfer I have to be on bed rest for 48 hours , kind of excited for that not going to lie!

Until then I will wait to update everyone.

Once I get confirmation I am pregnant I will announce it , despite the fact that I may miscarry I truly believe this baby is a gift and deserves to be celebrated.

Thank you all for the continued support and well wishes I can’t even tell you how much it means to me. All the positive vibes are welcomed always

Xoxo

Melissa

Results are in….

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Ahhhh I feel like I’ve been waiting so long to hear from my nurse with my results.

So they retrieved 41 eggs from me on egg retrieval day- that same day they fertilized my eggs and we got 20 embryos. A few days later they go to another stage I forget the terminology but 19 embryos survived.

As of now the embryos are 1 week old and in the freezer. They stay there until transfer day. How they are able to test them is they keep a cell from each embryo. This way they are not disturbing the embryos. They only will defrost them when we are ready for transfer.

My nurse called me and asked how many embryos I wanted to test for gender – with the money we’ve sent in we get to have 12 tested. Any others we want tested beyond our 12 cost $250 per embryo- making it $1,700 if we wanted to test the remaining 7.

James and I decided to just test the 12 and if needed we could still test the others- but why spend more if we don’t need too.

Yesterday my nurse called me and to say I was excited is an understatement.

So what we have (out of the 12 embryos we tested )

4 healthy boys

4 healthy girls

2 abnormal boys

2 abnormal girls

My first response was so he does make girls lol + I literally had a 50/50 chance of having a girl. She said yup! But then I said yes but I would of had a boy! Ha ha!

So now my next step is a mock transfer (I am doing that tomorrow) + then more shot, to prep my uterus so it accepts the embryo when we transfer.

I am beyond excited to be one step closer ☺️.

Egg Retrial Day

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Philippians 4:13

13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Today was the day, egg retrieval day. I was so nervous because I  had no idea what to expect. My doctor had run everything by me but still this is all so new to me. The best way to describe this process is – your on a need to know basis- there is so much information it would be too much to hit you with it all so as you move onto the next step you find out more.

The weekend before my retrial I seriously felt like I was 6 months pregnant so bloated and so uncomfortable. That morning I walked in to get ready for surgery I asked the nurse why I felt so horrible and she explained to me that my ovaries were so huge from the medicine for this procedure (which makes sense).

The total time of procedure was 20-30 min and recovery time was 45 min. The last thing I remember is the anesthesiologist asking me if I understood everything – YES I replied and that he was going to give me something to relax me. The next thing I remember is waking up in recovery and a nurse asking me if I had someone she wanted to call for me – I told her  to get James.

James came back and all I  wanted to tell him was that Dr. Norian did my surgery can you believe he showed up – then I don’t remember much only that the Dr. came in to tell me Hi and he retrieved 41 eggs….41 OMG I said is that good, he said that’s great!

Soon I was cleared to be sent home.

All day I just slept, I would wake up and then doze off. Thankfully my mom came over that morning got the kids off to school and was there after to help us. The week after my retrieval the bloating was still so bad, they called me in for additional testing because they had retrieved so many eggs your more likely to get OHSS

  • Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) is a medical condition that can occur in some women who take fertility medication to stimulate egg growth, and in other women in very rare cases. Most cases are mild, but rarely the condition is severe and can lead to serious illness or death.

Continue reading “Egg Retrial Day”

The Shots Begin…

Roosevelt stated: “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty…

So here we are ready to start injections.

I started this process with HRC Ferility with such excitement I didn’t care how many shots or how badly it hurt – all I could think about was the end result…a little girl.

This is what I had to do, One shot of the Follistum , one shot of the menopur which hurt so bad, because that one stung as you injected yourself. It wasn’t a simple task though – the menopur you had to mix with one cc of saline then switch needles phew so much work.

On top of injections daily I was going into the doctors office every other day to do blood work and ultrasounds so they can see how well my eggs were maturing.

So this process takes about 10days – 2 weeks then you prep for egg retrieval.

It was 5 days before they wanted to do my retrieval when the doctor was noticing that my eggs weren’t maturing at a speed that he was happy with and wondered what was wrong. When I was leaving that appointment Deanne my nurse was checking in with me on what else I needed medication wise.  I told her I was all good and didn’t need much more and she replied with no you should be running low on Follistum.

When I got home I checked my pen and saw the medication was out, OHHHH EMMM GEE how long had it been out??? So I called her and told her she said let me tell Dr. Norian. That evening August 20th she called to tell me that the Dr. didn’t want to do my retrieval because we wouldn’t get a good retrieval since my eggs stopped maturing 😦 I was crushed

As I’m driving through the CHICK- Fil-A line tears are poring down my face – all my work all those shots everything I had been doing was a waste because I messed up. Putting aside the financial loss the emotional loss weighed so heavy on me.

Luckily James is so supportive he gave me total comfort and assured me it was for the best- which was true I didn’t want to undergo a minor surgery for bad results. So I had to wait 3-4 weeks before I was able to restart my injections.

Four weeks later I called Deanne and I was able to start my injections again! James went with me to this appointment so we both could fully understand what to do and how to do it.

During these 2 weeks my eggs were maturing beautifully. It was the Friday before retrieval and now I was upped to 3 shots a day- and the instructions get very intense- 36 hours prior to your retrieval you have to inject a HCG shot. This has to be given at a very specific time or it can mess up the retrieval process. Luckily this time I paid close attention to my instructions!

So back to Friday evening- 6:00 at night I get a call from the Dr.’s office – she called to tell me that Dr. Norian is unable to preform my surgery and Dr. Nelson would be stepping in. I was devastated! I hadn’t even met this Dr. and he was going to be preforming surgery on me?!?! As I was processing this Dr. Norian calls me to apologize, an emergency arose and he had to fly out of the country ASAP. I told him I understand but was very upset. I did however respect the fact that he personally called me – he has great bedside manner.

Again I found myself asking God that hard question – what am I doing ? Is this what I am suppose to be doing ? Please help guide me.

Monday morning I sat in the waiting room waiting to get called back to surgery with an extremely bloated belly (by the way if you’ve seen me lately and I look 5 months pregnant it’s the shots :/ ) .

As she’s checking me in having me verify things I look up at the board and see Dr. Norian’s name – I said oh no Dr. Nelson is preforming me retrieval and to my surprise she says “oh no Dr. Norian was able to be here after all- apparently his flights got postponed because of the storms until Friday.”

A smile just filled my face and again the waterworks ran down.

Xoxo

Melissa

If it’s meant to be it will be

This is where the road begins…

James and I didn’t just think about this one night and then bam started – No we thought long – we prayed hard – we well (I) cried asking the tough question

“God here is my life what is your plan for it.”

It’s funny that I actually quoted that- because I bet many are saying why is she asking God what his plan is if she’s clearly making her own plan.

I am a strong Christian woman who raisers her family the best way  I know how to to follow Christ. My beliefs and the God I follow may look differently than most. I believe in a loving God, one who doesn’t judge whether that’s the color of your skin , the clothes on your back or whom you are married too. My God loves and accepts all who choose to love him, follow him and who believes he is the one who died and rose again and is alive today- That is my God.

I believe God gave us these tools, these doctors to help assist and get us through life. Because I am choosing to gender select is no different than someone who struggles to get pregnant and saying to that person – well you actually shouldn’t have a baby because maybe your body isn’t equipped for it.

On Monday – that was actually my egg retrieval day (and I will get to that process soon) but my nurse who was giving me my IV said to me – you know so many people just like you do this but they are so scared to talk about it because they are afraid of what people will say.

Currently I am reading a book 100 Days to Brave – the Friday before my egg retrieval I was having major doubts.. Is this what I should be doing? So I was driving and I turned on my audible (man do I love audible) she started this chapter with “Ask God those hard questions – be brave and ask god what is your plan for me? what is it that I am suppose to be learning right now? Ask those hard questions and listen for those hard answers – even if you don’t want to hear the answer.” So I sat there in may car tears running down my face and I asked God- what is it that you have planned for me ? What am I suppose to be learning right now? I sat I waited and I was prepared to hear those hard answers even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. This book has really brought me to bravery just starting this blog and sharing all of this has made me braver than I knew – 100 Days to Brave

My journey is far from over- I know God is more powerful than any man or medicine out there and if he wishes he will put barriers and stop our journey.

xoxo,

Melissa